California High School Proficiency Examination

Sample Writing Task

Writing Task Overview

The Language subtest of the English-language Arts section of the CHSPE includes one persuasive writing task. For the writing task you will be asked to write an essay to persuade a specified audience of your opinion about an issue. You will need to be specific and explain your reasons for your opinion.

Sample Writing Task

Some people believe that high school classes should not begin before 9:00 a.m. Do you agree or disagree? Write a letter to the editor of your local newspaper to persuade readers to accept your opinion on this issue. Be specific and explain your reasons. (Do not sign your letter.)

Essay Scoring Scale

Scoring Scale © California Department of Education

Writer's Checklist

The following "Writer's Checklist" (© 2008 by NCS Pearson, Inc.) will be provided with the CHSPE writing task.

• Did I write about the topic?
• Did I express my ideas in complete sentences?
• Did I give enough details to explain or support my ideas?
• Did I include only those details that are about my topic?
• Did I write my ideas in an order that is clear for the reader to follow?
• Did I write a topic sentence for each paragraph?
• Did I use a capital letter at the beginning of each sentence and for all other words that should be capitalized?
• Did I use the correct punctuation at the end of each sentence and within each sentence?
• Did I spell words correctly?
• Did I print or write clearly?

Sample Essays

Below and on the next page are two sample essays in response to the sample writing task on the previous page. The first is an example of an essay at score point 4; the second is an example of an essay at score point 2. The commentary with each sample essay explains why the essay earned the score that it did.

Sample Essay Score Point 4

The following essay earned a score of 4. The essay addresses the writing task in a competent manner.

Dear Editor:

Recently people have been discussing changing the hours of school, should schools begin at 8 am or after 9 am. I believe the early start is better for several reasons.

There are many advantages to starting school early. One of the most important reasons is for sports, and jobs. Students who play sports need to practice after school. If school begins later in the day, it will end later, and athletes will be practicing late into the afternoon, getting home after dark. Students who work in the afternoon will face the same problems and may have their hours cut if they cant get to work at an earlier time. Also, students often spend several hours a night online or text-messaging friends. If these activities are started later in the day students will be getting to bed even later than they do now. Another reason for staying with the early start is that it prepares students to enter the work force. Very few jobs in the real world allow you to start work at 9 or later in the morning. Students need to be able to work in the early morning hours to be ready for college classes, the military, or a job.

I know that some people want to start school after 9 am and they do have a point. Recent studies have shown that teenagers are more alert in the afternoons than in the morning. These people argue that a late start will let students get more sleep and be more alert in school the next day. This arguement doesnt convince me, though, because teenagers will just stay up later if they know they can get up later. They will just stay up until 2 am and get up at 8 for the later start.

I believe that schools will do better to stay with 8 am starting times. Because so many students have jobs, play sports, or just like to hang out with their friends after school, its better to get school over with early in the day. Its also better training for the future.

This essay establishes its position in the second sentence: "I believe the early start is better for several reasons." It supports its position in the following paragraph by citing the needs of both athletes and students who work as well as considering the socialization time that students spend on the phone and online. Paragraph three, while less well developed, also supports the writers position by offering another reason for an early start: "it prepares students to enter the work force." The writers reasoning is adequate although not well developed; it does include some degree of specificity, citing "practicing late into the afternoon, getting home after dark."

This essay also anticipates and addresses some of the readers potential concerns or counter-arguments in paragraph four. Referring to "studies [that show] that teenagers are more alert in the afternoons," the writer acknowledges that the late start does have some arguments in its favor. However, the writer finds this reasoning unpersuasive. While late start proponents might believe students would be able to get more sleep, the writer states that teenagers will just stay up later if they know they can get up later and offers an example: they will just stay up until 2 am and get up at 8. The writer finishes the essay with a return to the initial statement of position and ends with a new idea: its better to get school over with early in the day.

This essay demonstrates control of sentence structure although there are some errors. The very first sentence is a run-on; there should be a semi-colon or a period between school and should. Some commas are misused (paragraph two: for sports, and jobs) or omitted (day students), and there is one misspelled word: arguement (paragraph four). The word choice is generally appropriate, and while there are some awkwardly stated sentences (Recently people have been discussing changing the hours of school, should schools begin at 8 am or after 9 am.), most sentences are under control and do not cause confusion. The writer is inconsistent in notation of time and part of day (sometimes 8 and sometimes 8 am). These errors, however, do not cause confusion.

Overall, this is a solid 4 essay. It addresses the writing task in a competent manner, defining and defending its position with adequate reasoning and some specific examples, and it anticipates and addresses readers concerns. It displays control of sentence structure, word choice, and the conventions of written English.

Sample Essay Score Point 2

The following essay earned a score of 2. The essay addresses the writing task in a limited manner.

Note that with a writing score of 2, an examinee cannot pass the Language subtest. See Score Combinations to Pass the Language Subtest.

I do not believe that school classes should start before 9:00 am, I agree strongly that they should start afterwards. I agree with this statement for multiple reasons, reasons like that most kids do not like to wake up that early unless we are forced so then we are still sleepy and our minds do not work fully. More reasons are that if school could start after 9:00 more students would come to first and second period instead of sleeping in. If school was to start at a later time, students would be real happy and more awake and maybe try harder on work and in classes.

COMMENTARY: Score Point 2

This essay is a limited response to the writing task. The writer does take a position; however, the support for that position is limited. The writer offers three general reasons: kids dont like to get up early, more students would come to first and second periods instead of sleeping in, and starting later would make students happy so they would try harder. The writer fails to extend or support those reasons with any specific details. In addition, the writer does not anticipate readers concerns or counter-arguments in favor of the other position. A short series of sentences in general support of a simplistic central idea does not demonstrate competence in writing an organized persuasive essay.

In addition to the essays lack of development, the writer exhibits inadequate control of sentence structure. The writer incorrectly joins two sentences with a comma (I do not believe that school classes should start before 9:00 am, I agree strongly ). This is followed by a run-on sentence. However, this essay does not contain serious or repeated errors in usage or conventions. The essays lack of development and support prevents it from receiving a higher score.

The writer could have improved the essay by incorporating specific examples, such as the effects of changing starting times on extracurricular activities, descriptions of student behavior in early morning classes, or specific personal experiences rather than general statements (most kids do not like to wake up that early ). Also, the writer needs to have considered what arguments might be made for the early start: for example, getting out early in the day and having time for a job or to participate in sports. Supporting each of the ideas given with specific arguments and examples, as well as anticipating and addressing counter-arguments, could have moved this 2 essay into a higher score point